Me: Good morning, may I have a venti iced decaf with room for half and half?
Starbucks Employee: I'm sorry sir, we don't have iced decaf.
Me: Do you have decaf?
Starbucks Employee: yes.
Me: Do you have ice?
Starbucks Employee: yes.
Me: Tell you what - let's throw them together in a venti cup and see what happens.
This just happened. The inability to draw upon the most basic forms of deductive reasoning seems to be a pervasive norm in today's world. I love what human beings are capable of (Science, Architecture, Literature, Music, Dance, Philosophy, Tilda Swinton). I hate what human beings are capable of (War, Greed, Sloth, Willful Ignorance, Starbucks Employees).
The reason I can't stand the latter category of human beings is simple: they force me to spend energy trying to find a way to love them. I'm willing to do it. After all, the alternative is harboring a resentment. And in my universe, resentments are assassins. So energy that could be better spent fantasizing about Japanese Triplets, a complex system of cables and pulleys, and a vat of jojoba oil gets squandered on the cosmically banal.
I figure I'll eventually outgrow this tendency to be such a judgmental prick once I finally realize that being frustrated with the cosmically banal is a waste of energy that could be better spent fantasizing about a foursome with me, Marion Cotillard, Olivia Wilde, and Kathy Bates.
Fuck. I guess I just made the realization.
You know, this self-examining/self-aware path I'm on is a real pain in the fucking ass. I don't get away with anything anymore. This sucks.
Fucking happiness.
Whatever.
No comments:
Post a Comment